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Abuse & Violence

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Here you'll find different information about abusive relationships. You will find what the different names and meanings are. You will also find a quiz and much more! Please let me know what you think.

Can a person change?

no

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You are NOT his property ... POSTER ...

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If you're reading this section, chances are you already know your relationship isn't healthy. All relationships have their ups and downs but there are certain types of behaviour which are unacceptable and abusive.

Teen dating violence information

Healthy Relationship Quiz

Safety Plan

Warning signs of an abusive dating relationship:

-Extreme jealousy or insecurity Constant put-downs

-Possessiveness or acting like they own you

-Telling you what to do Explosive temper

-Making false accusations Isolating you from your friends and family Preventing you from doing things you want to do

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Types of Abuse (Break the Cycle)

Terms of "Abuse"
 
Bystander:
Someone who is present at, or witness to, an event without participating in it. It's our opinion that there are no "innocent bystanders." When harm is being done to another person, bystanders are the ones who have the power to help.

Partner:
A significant other. A boyfriend or a girlfriend.

Abuser:
Someone who hurts, degrades, controls, injures, and/or mistreats others.

Victim or survivor:
Someone who is harmed, or who has been harmed.

Dating violence:
Dating violence is characterized by patterns of abuse. This doesn't necessarily mean it has to be physical abuse; in fact, there are other types of abuse that can create an unhealthy and violent relationship. When anyone intentionally attacks you sexually, physically, or psychologically, you are in an abusive relationship. Abuse happens to girlfriends and boyfriends, in both gay and straight relationships. It's never okay for someone to be abused by another person. Don't ever forget that violence is never the victim's fault. And it is ALWAYS wrong. The following are definitions of different kinds of abuse.

Physical abuse:
Physical force or violent behavior used to maintain control over a person, injure or frighten a person, or to get what one wants. Examples include pushing, shoving, slapping, hitting, kicking, pinching, throwing, or using weapons to inflict harm. The threat of physical violence can also be considered abuse.

Verbal abuse:
Words used to intentionally hurt, frighten, or threaten another person; often the first stage of abuse in a violent dating relationship.

Sexual abuse:
Any unwanted behaviors or actions that are sexual in nature. Forced sex, deliberate embarrassment during sex, sexual names, manipulation into having sex, physical threats to pressure someone into sex, or drug/alcohol use to impair someone’s judgment, are all examples of sexual abuse.

Sexual harassment:
Any unwanted sexual pressure, verbal, visual, or physical in nature. Sexual harassment includes spreading sexual rumors, rude gestures or noises, inappropriate touching or rubbing, and offensive comments about someone's clothes or body.

Emotional abuse:
Words used to minimize someone’s feelings and put him/her down. Emotional abuse disregards the victim’s feelings, and instead instills beliefs of not being important or good enough. If your boyfriend/girlfriend makes you feel guilty, insecure, or afraid, it's disrespectful and unhealthy.

Spiritual abuse:
Ridicule or persecution based on spiritual beliefs. Examples can include forcing someone to stop practicing religion or changing his/her religion.

Financial abuse:
When someone controls your financial decisions and behaviors without your consent, it is considered financial abuse. Examples include forcing someone to work or not work, taking someone a paycheck, or expecting unrealistic gifts.

Date Rape:
Date rape can be defined as being subjected to unwanted sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or other sexual contact through the use of force or threat of force. There can be male or female victims of rape, although most reported cases of rape are against young women. Date rape is most often done by someone the victim knows, in a situation familiar to them (i.e., a friend’s house, their house, etc.).

WARNING SIGNS (Easy to read)

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QUIZ: Is your relationship healthy?
 
__ Is your boyfriend extremely jealous or possessive? __ Does he accuse you of flirting or cheating on him?
__ Does he constantly check up on you or always make you check in with him?
__ Does he tell you how to dress or how much makeup to wear?
__ Does he try to control what you do and whom you see?
__ Does he try to keep you from seeing or talking to your family and friends?
__ Does he have big mood swings where one minute he is angry and yelling at you, and the next minute he is sweet and apologetic and says he can't live without you?
__ Do you often feel like you're "walking on eggshells" around him?
__ Does he put you down or criticize you and make you feel like you can't do anything right or that no one else would want you?
__ Does he put you down or criticize you and make you feel like you can't do anything right or that no one else would want you?
__ Does he yell, grab, shove, punch, slap, hold you down, throw things or hurt you in any way?
__ Does he threaten to hurt you or somebody you care about (like himself, your family, your friends or your pets)?
__ Does he force or pressure you into having intercourse or going further than you want to? If you answered yes to some of these questions, your relationship may not be as healthy as you deserve.

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Source: Love is Not abuse. Book for teenagers.